I don’t want to…..

It’s been a wile since I posted , but since then I have got Diabiets and need the veins in my neck cleaned out . That’s the short story very short. Dawn was out of town when the sugers hit me and it changed the the way I live a lot. No more carbs that means beer as I thought , but that’s not what I’m I am here to talk about to tonight.

As you get older your veiws change and even though the operation I will be having is not out of the normal , I have lost to many friends this year. It’s the price thay comes with old age I guess.

Tonight Dawn heads home from her vacation and I am here putting on a pitty party for myself, it could be worse. I have had friends to keep an eye on me and try to keep my spirits up , and that has helped.

 

Diabetes surprise cocktail…

I have been tested for diabetes all my life since my grand parents had it and every sign has been no you don’y have it…now that’s not saying I didn’t need some orange juice to get me going in the morning. I did see a addiction habit growing to it ( Orange juice ) as I got older . What happened all of a sudden made me think twice about my life , no not contemplating life in general. I should have had the dam deserts when I had the chance.

To see where I am coming from you have to understand I smoke I drink and I expect to die to from these actions. I have trained ( asked ) my children that when the time comes I am to be taken to the desert for a walk to never return. They have see there grand parents go slowly and I never want them to wipe my ass ( it would be funny ) .

I also have a clog in the veins in my neck that need attention, this is the part that worries me, 70% on one side and 60% on the other. This has me worried I have has 10 w 40 running in my blood for years.

I was taking to Dawn and the kids about this when I found out as just a “tune up” Its been 50 years, but for the last week that seems all I can think about……Shortly after finishing that sentence my daughter came home to pick up my grandson. I was just talking to her about some of the same things i’m talking about her and the tears just started to flow down my face. Now it was the first time I have had gin since coming home, I have a feeling that helped a bit. Like I said I had this all planed out. Sure you did.

I had my follow up with my Dr since starting this entry and he is not to worried about my neck “for a man my age ” but to even think about sending me to have them checked out I would have to quit smoking. That’s not going to happen this week.